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Campaign 2016: Donald Trump's 5 Imagined Education Positions

For months now, hapless education reporters have been struggling to determine what education policies and positions Republican candidate Donald Trump holds. In the absence of any discernible education positions, here are several semi-imagined ones:

Bringing back the Pledge of Allegiance. Schools are American. Kids are American. They -- and teachers, too -- should be reminded of this every day. And a US history test should be mandatory in 8th grade in every district and state. It's gonna be great. 

Kicking undocumented kids out of public schools. This won't be much of a problem once the wall is built and we make everyone leave, but any kids who don't have papers shouldn't get a free education paid for by real American taxpayers. Kick 'em out. Stop sending money to schools that educate them.

Private school vouchers. America is about choice. People should be able to send their kids where they want. Why should anyone have to pay twice -- through taxes and then tuition -- to send Johnny or Jane to Sidwell Friends (not that I would advise anyone to send their children to that place)?  Want to send them to a religious school? That's fine, too. 

Mayoral control. Things work better when one person is in charge, and in most cities that's the Mayor. City Hall should be in charge of schools just like it's in charge of everything else. Elected school boards are confusing, duplicative, and ineffective. Get rid of  'em.

Free college for everyone. Sure, yes, college should be free for anyone who can't afford it. As long as they're American. The only thing I'm not sure about is whether females should get degrees in engineering, math, and science. They're more likely to be successful in business, like my daughter. So we might have to think about that. 

Eliminating the USDE. Well, duh.


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