Breaking: Two Top Obama Officials Contract H1N1 "Swine Flu" [edited]

Late Monday night, Obama administration officials were forced to admit what many already knew:  education secretary Arne Duncan and HHS secretary Kathleen Sebelius have both contracted the H1N1 virus (otherwise known as "swine flu").  

Ironically, the disease was likely transmitted at the pictured press event, held to highlight swine flu prevention efforts for the upcoming school year. (CDC prevention head Thomas Friedan was not infected.)

Though the situation is considered extremely embarrassing to the administration, Duncan and Sebelius are not the first public figures to be affected by the highly contagious virus.  Presidents of Costa Rica and Columbia, among others, have already picked up the disease.  No word yet on how this will affect the week's scheduled events.

WED EDIT:  This is obviously fake, as most of you understood immediately or soon thereafter.  It is filed under the category "Made Up News."  There are no wire reports of this.  Sorry for any momentary alarm that may have been caused.