THOMPSON: Back to School
A summer of verbal give and take in the blogosphere could not keep me in shape for the big league trash talking of the urban classroom. I picked up some tricks from the back-to-school convocation, however. The keynote speaker, Jack Berckemeyer, said that we should randomly dub a student as "Sparkie" and rather than yell at a student who is disrupting class, we should yell at a student who is not in class. Then, when students do not listen, the teacher should just express their frustrations to the chalkboard. "Chalkboard, I went into the classroom to talk to students, but I see that you are the only person who will really listen ..."
Sometimes I warned the designated "Sparkie" and the rest of the class of the reason why I would engage in those antics. Other times I just started to converse with my new, inanimate best friend. I loved shouting at last year's student "Caitlin, what am I, a potted plant? Just because you don’t listen the to plays that your coach calls ..." And now, the students have a standard comeback, "D.T., talk to the chalkboard."
When I was defeated in one round of trash-talking, the student’s closing reply was "D.T. I have not begun to rag on you. When I do, I’ll be looking at your sneakers." This was the student who had complained, "D.T. if you make me write so much, I’m going to have a cardeo-viscectomy." - John Thompson